Persephone Outlines - How NOT to Follow Through with a Plan

Well, now I am taking Abby's post time - because she has some external stuff to deal with and I am sort of on internal implode.

I had a really hard and frustrating day at work yesterday, followed by my first therapy appointment in weeks.

Prior to yesterday, I'd never had a 90 minute therapy session.  I also can't even articulate the amount of anxiety I had managed to build up prior to the appointment itself.  (Though the people I talked to in that final 30 minutes have a good idea of it.)

The session itself was actually really positive.  My therapist pretty much rocks, and we got a lot of things hashed out and planned and outlined to get me back on track.

I left the office feeling drained but positive.

Then I left my sensei a rambling, nonsensical voicemail that luckily ran out of time so I was able to erase it and re-record a shorter, less rambling one.

And then - I just sort of realized that I couldn't handle the thought of going home.  I was too restless and rattled and spent, but also just pinging with free radical energy.

I called a friend.

I got to her house at about 8:20pm and then we went to dinner.

Want to know what happens when you eat pizza and ice cream and drink root beer after going off of grains and sugar and are totally also completely exhausted?!?

1.  You stay up and out too late.
2.  You finally get home and pass out as if drunk.
3.  You wake up feeling so hungover that you are surprised that you're not in some prison in Mexico.

Then, if you're at all like me, you spend the rest of the day feeling like crap, forget to eat because you feel like puking, blow off school, forget to cook dinner, and stay up way past bedtime making a "woe is me" post even though all of this is your own damn fault.

I would love to say "lesson learned" but let's be honest here...sometimes I'm a bit slow on the uptake when it comes to this kind of thing.

I will say though that I am starting to look at bread like I tend to look at alcohol, which means I view it as a dangerous animal I want/need to stay far far away from. This perception of bread is probably awesome for me on a health scale, but makes the part of me that craves bread as comfort food very sad.

 
And on that happy/sad note.  I'm taking my 100lb head to bed.

-Seph