IKEA is bad for Pregnant Abby's brain

I begin by saying that I have never liked IKEA.  If you haven't heard of IKEA, Google it.  Also, what planet do you live on exactly?

I've never known precisely why I have such aversion to the store.  Much of what they sell is cheaply made, but there are a few pieces that are quite well done.  They have products that are pretty ingenious, and everything I've seen is reasonably priced.  It's certainly more stylish than Wal-mart.

Today I finally figured it out.  It's too damn organized, and that makes me jealous and frustrated and angry with myself.

I look at the perfectly coordinated living room setups, the clever and highly functional organizational storage and think, "why the hell can't I do that?"

I don't know.  I have read books on organizing spaces.  I've looked at tons of examples.  I've tried my entire life (that I can remember) trying to figure out how to keep track of my stuff and keep it clean and not have it end up all over the place.  There's just a big gaping hole in my brain where step 2 should live.

step 1.  Buy organizing things.

step 2. Uhhhhhh.

step 3. Organized!

IKEA makes it look so damn easy, and it pisses me off.  Of course, I also found useful shiny awesome things to purchase.  "Here, IKEA, you who makes me feel inadequate and horrible, please, take my money as well.  Thank you, may I have another?"

Friends have offered to help me organize.  I thank each one sincerely, but never take them up on it.  Why?  I'm not sure, but I think it's a combination of things.

1. My house is a horribly embarrassing mess.

2. I feel I ought to be able to do it.

3. I don't want to end up on Hoarders...and I can't if no one nominates me.  They won't nominate me if they don't know.  See item 1.

4. Guilt.  Guilty guilt ridden guilt with shredded guilt on top.

What do I do?