Persephone Ponders Akrasia

This was not a good week in terms of waking up on time.  I hate to keep harping on the whole sleep thing, but SO much would fall into place if I could just get consistent about it. 

There's a term for what I go through every morning - "Akrasia".  (Or if you want to use my friend V's term for it - "dummy jacked".)

For those who didn't go to the link, Akrasia is the principle of us acting against our better judgment.  When you reach for the sweets late at night, knowing that you'll regret it later, or stay up past bedtime to watch another episode of TV, or to finish reading a book, or talk on the phone, or whatever distraction it happens to be - even though you know you'll then oversleep or feel tired and icky all the next day, and yet you do it anyway - that is akrasia.

When I'm awake, fully, 100% awake, I'm more likely to overcome some of these moments, but when the alarm goes off at 6:15am, and I'm 99.9% still asleep, and I know in the back of my mind that technically I can hit snooze a few times and technically still make it to work- that's when I get dummy jacked the hardest.

Forget the "perfect week".  I can't even seem to manage a perfect day.

Sadly, the more days I fail to get up on time, the more I beat myself up This is counter productive because it feeds into the talk that I somehow don't deserve this new life that I am working so hard to achieve during all the other waking hours of my day.

And it's hard to give myself credit for the stuff I'm doing right when I am so bothered by what it is I'm failing to do right. 

So forget the "perfect week".  I'm nowhere near ready for that.

This week - starting tomorrow through next Sunday - I just want to achieve one day of getting up on time.  Just one. 

Baby steps are sometimes the only steps you can take.

-Seph